Dave’s Daily Quotes

When government accepts responsibility for people, then people no longer take responsibility for themselves. ~ George Pataki

Face your problems, don’t Facebook your problems.

The gap in our economy is between what we have and what we think we ought to have–and that is a moral problem, not an economic one. ~ Paul Heyne  

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned. ~ William Congreve

You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger. ~ Buddha

It’s a poor sort of memory that only works backwards. ~ Lewis G. Carroll

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. ~ George Bernard Shaw    

So much to do, so few people to do it for me.

If today was a fish, I’d throw it back in.

You know it’s a bad day when… … the sun comes up in the west. … you jump out of bed and miss the floor. … the bird singing outside your window is a buzzard. … you put both contact lenses in the same eye. … your pet rock snaps at you. … the blind…

Life’s a tough job, and the hours are a bitch.

Overdrawn? But I still have checks left…

Find your aim in life before you run out of ammunition.

The difficulty is not buying on time, it’s paying on time. ~ Evan Esar

America believes in education:  The average college professor earns more in a year than the average professional athlete earns in a whole week. ~ Evan Esar

The secret of a secret is to know when and how to tell it. ~ Evan Esar

1. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if … The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.   2. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if … People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether…

Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Calling an illegal alien an “undocumented immigrant” is like calling a drug dealer an “unlicensed pharmacist.”

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle; he just didn’t have the balls to do it.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island.  It turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right. ~ Thomas Paine

Time is shortening. But every day that I challenge this cancer and survive is a victory for me. ~ Ingrid Bergman

In order to deviate successfully, one has to have at least a passing acquaintance with whatever norm one expects to deviate from. ~ Frank Zappa