Dave’s Daily Quotes

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. ~ Carl Gustav Jung

Seeing ourselves as others see us would probably confirm our worst suspicions about them. ~ Franklin P. Adams

Learn Spanish! Jesus is coming.

I’m not bossy, I just know what you should be doing.

If you spread out all the sand in North Africa, it would cover the Sahara Desert.

When blondes have more fun, do they know it?

Take my advice; I don’t use it anyway.

Now-a-days, the gleam in my eye is from the sun hitting my bifocals.

Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?

What happens when none of your bees wax?

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it.

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned; I couldn’t concentrate.

The trouble with political jokes is that they get elected. ~ Henry Cate VII

Oh yeah? If you’re so smart, why don’t I understand you?

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her right breast. It turned out to be a trick knee. ~ Phyllis Diller

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

Reading while sunbathing makes you, well, red.

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. ~ C.S. Lewis

There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him. ~ Robert Heinlein

Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance. ~ Robert Frost

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge–myth is more potent than history–dreams are more powerful than facts–hope always triumphs over experience–laughter is the cure for grief–love is stronger than death. ~ Robert Fulghum