Dave’s Daily Quotes

For every vision, there is an equal and opposite revision.

Having fear is like being thirsty or hungry—you do something about it.

Everyone who drinks is not a poet. Some of us drink because we’re not poets. ~ Arthur Bach

Everything is easier said than done. Except for talking–that’s about the same.

Sometimes it’s the smallest things that take up the most room in your heart. Like blood clots.

I recently bought a second keyboard.  Now I can indulge in some stereotyping.

LeAnn Rimes. No it doesn’t

I’m considering becoming a mind reader. What are your thoughts?

I had to do a presentation on children’s playground equipment. So I did a slide show.

Double negatives are a no-no.

Cashiers are always checking me out.

Did you know that the average married couple argues 412 times a year? Well, 415 actually, but try telling her that.

I say tomato you say tomato. Doesn’t quite have the same effect in print.

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on reverse psychology.  The librarian says, “You don’t want to read that.”

My three unwritten rules: 1. 2. 3.

I’ve thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year’s resolution:  1024×768.

By and large, the women involved in online dating are bi, and large.

The Tax System Explained in Beer JANUARY 12, 2012 Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this… The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing The…

I have no beef with vegetarians.

I deserted my wife last night. I gave her a big bowl of chocolate pudding.

I say tomato you say tomato. Doesn’t quite have the same effect in print.

Did you hear about the bird that was born without a beak? He was born to succeed

I went into the changing room several times, but it was still the same.

The bra section. The only place in the world where you fail if you get an A.

90% of communication is done through body language. That’s why it’s really easy to lie to blind people.