Dave’s Daily Quotes

The early worm deserves the bird.

To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.

Don’t undertake vast projects with half-vast ideas.

Amoebit:  a cross between an amoeba and a rabbit; it can multiply and divide at the same time.

A Shower is the halfway point between Bed and World.

All my information went data way.

I tried to hang myself with a bungee chord. I kept almost dying.

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don’t make sense. Refrigerator.

You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality. ~ Ayn Rand

Everybody pities the weak; jealousy you have to earn. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger

Living is easy with eyes closed. ~ John Lennon

People who complain about the way the ball bounces usually dropped it.

National Schizophrenic’s Convention: Anybody who’s everybody will be there!

There are two common ways to avoid thinking: one is to never read, and the other is to do nothing but read.

We must beat the iron while it is hot, but we may polish it at leisure. ~ John Dryden

The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.

Only dead fish go with the flow.

Isn’t it odd the way everyone automatically assumes that the goo in soap dispensers is always soap? I like to fill mine with mustard, just to teach people a lesson in trust.

Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.

I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a…

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Those who are serious in ridiculous matters will be ridiculous in serious matters. ~ Cato the Elder

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. ~ George Bernard Shaw

I have learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. ~ James Rhinehart

I find it fascinating that most people plan their vacations with better care than they plan their lives. Perhaps that is because escape is easier than change. ~ Jim Rohn