Dave’s Daily Quotes

If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?

If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

The Vulcan Neck Pinch is not half so powerful as the Vulcan Groin Kick, but it’s more politically correct. ~ William White

The day that you die will be like any other day… only shorter. ~ Samuel Beckett

All men are born equal, but quite a few eventually get over it. ~ Lord Mancroft

The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs. You can no more blame circumstances for your character than the mirror for your appearance.

May you never complain without cause and may you never have cause to complain.

Just when we learn to take things with a grain of salt, the doctor puts us on a salt-free diet.

If I said half the things to you that you habitually say to yourself, would we still be on speaking terms?

Troubles are a lot like babies, they grow larger if you nurse them. Don’t let a moment of time make you unhappy forever.

Have an adequate day.

Don’t tell me what kind of day to have!

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so. ~ Robert A. Heinlein

Miracles are great, but they are so damned unpredictable.

If you want to watch the world pass you by, try driving the speed limit. An Impotent Loser is a man who can’t even get his hopes up. A handkerchief should be called “Cold storage.”

The only thing shorter than a weekend is a vacation.

Let’s behave this weekend in a manner that would render it impossible for us to ever run for president.

Facebook should only be free to those who successfully pass a spelling test.

The heart is wiser than the intellect, says the heart.

Time heals nothing.

I hate laundry month

It is difficult to maintain the illusion that we are interpreting a Constitution, rather than inventing one, when we amend its provisions so freely. ~ Justice Antonin Scalia

It is difficult to legislate morality in the absence of moral legislators. ~ Anonymous

Music is the only sensual pleasure without vice.

Nothing increases your golf score like witnesses.