Dave’s Daily Quotes

“Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.” ~ Ambrose Bierce

“I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted.” ~ George Best

“It often happens that the real tragedies of life occur in such an inartistic manner that they hurt us by their crude violence, their absolute incoherence, their absurd want of meaning, their entire lack of style.” ~ Oscar Wilde

“There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.” ~ Oscar Wilde

“History is a race between education and catastrophe.” ~ H. G. Wells

“There’s no disaster that can’t become a blessing, and no blessing that can’t become a disaster” ~ Richard Bach

“We live in the midst of alarms; anxiety beclouds the future; we expect some new disaster with each newspaper we read.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

“The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet.” ~ Aristotle

“Never fear a shadow…. that always means there is a light shining somewhere.” ~ Jonathan Santos

“Friends are kisses blown to us by angels.” ~ Anonymous

He who angers you conquers you. ~ Elizabeth Kenny

“Courage is fear that has said its prayers.” ~ Dorothy Bernard

“Labor disgraces no man; unfortunately, you occasionally find men who disgrace labor.” ~ Ulysses S. Grant

When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers. ~ Oscar Wilde

Prayer is exhaling the spirit of man and inhaling the spirit of God. ~ Edwin Keit

Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men! Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for power equal to your tasks. ~ Phillip Brooks

Prayer is when you talk to God; meditation is when you listen to God. ~ Diana Robinson

“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.” ~ George Carlin

“Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place,…

“I go to bed early; my favorite dream comes on at nine.” ~ George Carlin

“What exactly is viewer discretion? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on.” ~ George Carlin

“I’m sixty years of age. That’s 16 Celsius.” ~ George Carlin

“If the Cincinnati Reds were really the first major league baseball team, who did they play?” ~ George Carlin

“We will never be an advanced civilization as long as rain showers can delay the launching of a space rocket.” ~ George Carlin

“You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.” ~ George Carlin