Dave’s Daily Quotes

Now, I don’t see color.  People tell me I’m white and I believe them because police officers call me “sir”.  ~  Steven Colbert

I’ve always been a big fan of beauty.  Sure, you can’t judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book? ~ Steven Colbert

Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day.  And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do.  And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place,…

This City is what it is because our citizens are what they are. ~ Plato

Every cloud has a silver lining (except for the mushroom shaped ones, which have a lining of Iridium & Strontium 90). ~ Anonymous    ++

The pen is mightier than the sword. ~ -Mark Twain

The pen is mightier than the sword. ~ -Mark Twain The penis mightier than the sword. ~ Not Mark Twain

Every so often, I try to masturbate a large word into conversation, even if I’m not really sure what it means. ~ Anonymous

Kilometers are shorter than miles.  Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. ~ George Carlin    ++

George Washington didn’t use free speech to defeat the British, he shot them. ~ Anonymous

It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but only three for proper trigger squeeze. ~ Anonymous    ++

The muzzle end of a .45 pretty much says ‘go away’ in any language. ~ Anonymous

The difference between a lawyer and a rooster is that the rooster gets up in the morning and clucks defiance. ~ Anonymous

Booze is the answer.  I don’t remember the question. ~ Anonymous

He who sings frightens away his ills. ~ Miguel de Cervantes

The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions–the little soon forgotten charities of a kiss or smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment, and the countless infinitesimals of pleasurable and genial feeling.~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Friendship is like a violin; the music may stop now and then, but the strings will last forever. ~ Anonymous

Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action. ~  Benjamin Disraeli

Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Anonymous    ++

You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality. ~  Ayn Rand (1905-1982)    ++

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most:  saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing, and wishing you had? ~ Anonymous

The spaces between your fingers were created so that another’s could fill them in. ~ Anonymous

Work is love made visible. ~ Kahlil Gibran

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. ~ Fran Lebowitz    ++

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is. ~ Oscar Wilde