Dave’s Daily Quotes

Half of the world’s misery comes from ignorance. The other half comes from intelligence. ~ Bonar Thompson    ++

Great minds discuss ideas.  Average minds discuss events.  Small minds discuss people. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt  ++

Grandparents:  The people who think your children are perfect even though they believe you are not raising them right. ~ Anonymous   ++

Goodness is the only investment that never fails. ~ Thoreau

Good leaders are like baseball umpires; they go practically unnoticed when doing their jobs right. ~ Byrd Baggett

What A Friend We Have In Jesus (Lyrics): What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear! What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer! O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.…

Do turkeys get sleepy from that thing in turkey that makes you sleepy?

If a man is walking in a forest and no woman is there to hear him is he still wrong?  ++

If Wile E. Coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn’t he buy his dinner?

What do people in China call their good plates?    ++

Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. ~ James Thurber

I’m 65 and I guess that puts me in with the geriatrics. But if there were fifteen months in every year, I’d only be 48. That’s the trouble with us. We number everything. Take women, for example. I think they deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of 28 and 40. ~…

I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness. ~ James Thurber

Discussion in America means dissent. ~ James Thurber

All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why. ~ James Thurber

A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn’t make sense. ~ James Thurber

A drawing is always dragged down to the level of its caption. ~ James Thurber

When you don’t know what you’re talking about, it’s hard to know when you’re finished. ~ Tommy Smothers

The ultimate censorship is the flick of the dial. ~ Tommy Smothers

The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen. ~ Tommy Smothers

Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that’s bad for you! ~ Tommy Smothers

My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: “What are you looking at?” ~ Margaret Smith

I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy. ~ Red Skelton

I left home because I was hungry. ~ Red Skelton