Dave’s Daily Quotes

When an alarm clock wakes a man up, it makes him feel not like the early bird, but like the worm. ~ Anonymous

Everything that can be labeled can be hated. ~ Anonymous

The Longbranch Institute of Gluteal Massage: we knead your ass! ~ Anonymous

Sexy girls make men buy beer. Ugly girls make men drink beer. ~ Anonymous

L’enfer, c’est les autres. ~ (Jean Paul Sartre, French for “Hell is other people.”)

The belly is the reason why man does not mistake himself for a god. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche   ++

It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel unsure around you. We were…

Anything that goes to the trouble of happening was inevitable anyway. ~ Anonymous

Re vera, cara mea, mea nil refert.   (Latin:  Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.)

Astrological compatibility is probably not an issue for necrophiliacs. ~ Anonymous  ++

A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove… but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child. ~ Anonymous

Fine, DON’T have a nice day, see if I care.

If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the people to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders.  Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea. ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

You’ve got an overdeveloped sense of vengeance.  It’s going to get you into trouble someday. ~ Anonymous

Will you PLEASE stop opening pocket dimensions in the house?!

You are entitled to your own opinion. You are not, however, entitled to your own facts. ~ Anonymous  ++

Nothing will make you pay an old dental bill faster than a new toothache. ~Anonymous

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other. ~ Oscar Wilde

There are 10 human body parts that are only 3 letters long (eye hip arm leg ear toe jaw rib lip gum).

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

Never judge a book by it’s movie. ~ J.W. Eagan

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.  After marriage, the ‘Y’ becomes silent.

If I had some ham, I could have some ham and eggs, if I had some eggs.

Definition of a bachelor:   a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

Each of these possible mergers could bless our language, if not our economy: If Crabtree & Evelyn merged with Apple Computer, they could become Crab Apple. If the three companies Denison Mines,  Alliance, and Metal Mining merged, they would become Mine, All Mine How about Fairchild Electronics with Honeywell Computer:  Fairwell Honeychild? And FedEx with…