Dave’s Daily Quotes

I’m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let’s start with typewriters. ~ Frank Lloyd Wright

I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle.  It wasn’t mine. ~ ~ Rita Rudner

As the fallow leaf of the tree falls to the ground when its days are gone, even so the lives of men. ~ Mahavira

Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t. ~ Margaret Thatcher

Some things have to be believed to be seen. ~ Ralph Hodgson

Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence. ~ Robert Frost

Man is a dog’s idea of what God should be. ~ Anonymous

Man is a creature which can live without air for minutes, without  water for days, without food for weeks, and without ideas for years. ~ Anonymous

MAN OF THE HOUR, n.:  the husband who has been told by his wife that she will be with him in a minute

A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have enlightened him with ours. ~ Anonymous

We are in favor of a law which absolutely prohibits the sale of liquor on Sunday, but we are against its enforcement. ~ Anonymous

When things go wrong, don’t go with them. ~ Elvis  Presley

When you return to your boyhood town, you find it wasn’t the town you longed for. It was your boyhood. ~ Earl Wilson

When you’re through changing, you’re through. ~ Bruce Barton

Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. ~ Lewis Carrol

Every river that I know is dreaming of the sea. ~ Johnny Clegg

Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race. ~ H. G. Wells

Marriage is like pi – natural, irrational and very important. ~ Lisa Hoffman

Life’s short and hard, like a body building elf. ~ Bloodhound Gang

Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must undergo the fatigue of supporting it. ~ Patrick Henry

According to a survey in Family Circle magazine, twenty-seven percent of men say that sex puts them in a peaceful state of mind. Fifty-eight percent say money causes them stress. So the answer is obvious — get cheaper hookers. ~ Anonymous   ++

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn’t have that rule when Jesus was born. ~ Anonymous

I bought a bird feeder. It was expensive, but I figured in the long run, it would save me money on cat food. ~ Linda Herskovic

The internet oversight body has approved a special designation for pornography with the address ending “.xxx”. That is going to free up approximately 99% of what is now “.com” ~ Anonymous

Anyone who starts a sentence “With all due respect…” is about to insult you.