Dave’s Daily Quotes

I get by with a little help from my friends. ~ John Lennon

I’ll lean on you and you lean on me and we’ll be okay. ~ Dave Matthews Band

That’s the whole problem with science. You’ve got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder. ~ Calvin and Hobbes

On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said: let’s see the evolutionists try and figure this one out.

It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.

I like angles, but only to a degree.

If we don’t control our money, it will control us. ~ Anonymous

If someone is standing between you and God, guess who’s closer to God.    ++

God answers knee-mail.

First old man:  You want to go for a walk? Second old man:  Isn’t it windy? First old man:  No, it’s Thursday. Second old man:  Me, too. Let’s go get a soda.    ++

Faults are thick when love is thin.

Failure is no more fatal than success is permanent.

Even Popeye didn’t eat his spinach until he absolutely had to.

Every good friend once was a stranger.

A young person knows the rules but the old person knows the exceptions.

A status symbol is a symbol, not status.

A stand can be made against invasion of an army; no stand can be made against invasion of an idea.

Aspire to inspire before you expire.

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked; ‘How heavy is this glass of water?’ Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, ‘The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it.  If I hold it for a…

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he’d make a deal with his son: ‘You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your…

A sharp tongue and a dull mind are usually found in the same head.

A seminar on time travel will be held in two weeks ago.

Anyone who is not a socialist at 16 has no heart, but anyone who still is at 32 has no mind. ~ Woodrow Wilson

Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. ~ Abraham Lincoln

A note left for a pianist from his wife:  Gone Chopin, have Liszt, Bach in a Minuet.