Dave’s Daily Quotes

Political correctness is tyranny with manners. ~ Charlton Heston  ++

Don’t be so humble–you are not that great. ~  Golda Meir  ++

“Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. (This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.) ~ Dave Barry

I feel so combobulated.  ++

I have a sixth sense–sense of humor.  ++

I saw a person today with a safety pin through their eyebrow. I didn’t even know eyebrows fell off!!  ++

Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “Would you like a beer?” Descartes replies, “I think not”, then disappeared.  ++

A leprechaun walks into a bar. The bartender serves him and says, “That’ll be $2.50.” The leprechaun puts two dollar bills on the bar and starts walking away. The barkeep shouts, “You’re a little short!”

When I want your opinion, I’ll remove the duct tape.

An unemployed court jester is no one’s fool.

Drink your coffee; there are people in India sleeping.    ++

Smokers are just like everybody else. Just not as long.   ++

Everybody repeat after me:  “We are all individuals.”

Jesus is coming, so look busy.

Losing a husband can be hard:  in my case it was almost impossible.

You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes, and you will learn a lot today.  ++

I am kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of trying to make me happy. ~ J.D. Salinger  ++

If You Don’t Stand Behind Our Troops, Feel Free To Stand In Front Of Them!!  ++

Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. ~ Zig Ziglar   ++

It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through. ~ Zig Ziglar

If God would have wanted us to live in a permissive society He would have given us Ten Suggestions and not Ten Commandments. ~ Zig Ziglar   ++

Building a better you is the first step to building a better America. ~ Zig Ziglar

I met a woman named “Viamonte”. I said, “You don’t hear that name every day!” She said, “Well, actually, I do.”    ++

Men (women?) are like parking spaces–the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped. ++

Is Visine.com a site for sore eyes?  ++