Dave’s Daily Quotes

Q:  What will happen if the DOW average falls any further? A:  They’ll add an N to the end of it!

Some tax loopholes become nooses.

Success is neither magical nor mysterious.  Success is the natural consequences of consistently applying basic fundamentals. ~ Jim Rohn

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. ~ Robert Frost    ++

A day of worry is more exhausting than a week of work. ~ John Lubbock

Some of your hurts you have cured, And the sharpest you’ve even survived, But what torments of grief you’ve endured, From evils which never arrived.  ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

If a tree falls in the woods, and there’s no one there to hear it, how will the Environmentalists react? ~ Anonymous

Notice here that Paul has given us the “3 P’s” that are absolutely foundational for the Christian walk in this world. ✦Presentation:  completely and totally (12:1); ✦Preparation:  You must change and prepare for Godly intelligent discerning service in this world (12:2); ✦Position:  No matter how high God takes you, you are no higher than the…

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

As for evolution, I have a hard time believing that billions of years ago two protozoa bumped into each other under a volcanic cesspool and evolved into Cindy Crawford. ~ Robert G. Lee

What do you give to a dog with a fever?  Mustard.  It’s the best thing for a hotdog.

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you’ll be a mile away, and have his shoes. ~ Jack Handey  ++

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

A little necrophilia never killed anyone.

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.   ++

If the moon became an independent nation, would it be called the Colony of Lunatics?

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. ~ Henry Ford

I worship the quicksand he walks in. ~ Art Buchwald

There are three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies and statistics. ~ Benjamin Disraeli

Baldheaded men never think of themselves as bald; they think everybody else is hairy.

Baldheaded people should remember that when God made heads, He covered up the ones He didn’t like.

“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over it became a butterfly.”  ++

Q.  What are two things you should never do in bed? A. Point and Laugh.

I believe to forgive is divine, therefore I don’t.

Man:  Haven’t we met before? Woman:  Yes, I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.