Dave’s Daily Quotes

Oh, great altar of passive entertainment… Bestow upon me thy discordant images at such speed as to render linear thought impossible! ~ Calvin

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it’s so rare. ~ Daniel Patrick Moynihan

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving. ~ Albert Einstein

It’s kind of fun to do the impossible. ~ Walt Disney

Please bring me the mirror, and do not contaminate it with your own visage. ~ Moliere

The hour of departure has arrived, and we go our ways–I to die, and you to live. Which is better, God only knows. ~ Socrates

All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream. ~  Edgar Allan Poe

For fast-acting relief try slowing down. ~  Lily Tomlin

And for the record, all marriages are same sex marriages. You get married, and every night, it’s the same sex. ~ Bill Maher

Golf is a game in which you yell “Fore!,” shoot six, and write down five. ~ Paul Harvey

The real truth about children is they don’t speak the language very well. They’re physically uncoordinated. And they are ignorant of our elaborate ideas about right and wrong. ~ P. J. O’Rourke

I was born gay, but 8 months of breast feeding wiped that right out. ~ Nick DiPaolo

And I can’t be running back and forth forever between grief and high delight. ~ J.D. Salinger

Your faith is what you believe, not what you know. ~ John Lancaster Spalding

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that’s not true. Some smaller countries are neutral. ~ Robert Orben

The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness. ~ Abraham Maslow

My father told me never to darken his door again. It was no big deal, I just painted his door the wrong color. ~ Jim Loy

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. ~ Horace Walpole

Be suspicious of any doctor who tries to take your temperature with his finger. ~  Dave Letterman

Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who’s got the smallest. ~ Neil Kinnock

Kids. They’re not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. ~ Bill Maher

I believe in getting into hot water. I think it keeps you clean. ~ G. K. Chesterton

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. ~ Albert Einstein

Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying. ~ Anonymous

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. ~ Dale Carnegie