Dave’s Daily Quotes

How do you make a blonde’s eyes sparkle? Shine a flash light in her ear!

God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him. ~ Anonymous

If thou are a master, be sometimes blind; if a servant, sometimes deaf. ~ Thomas Fuller

If every tear we shed for you became a star above; you’d stroll in Angel’s garden, lit by everlasting love. ~ Anonymous

Those who expect to reap the benefits of freedom, must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it. ~ Thomas Paine

They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. ~ Benjamin Franklin

Come down from your fences, open the gate It may be rainin’, but there’s a rainbow above you You better let somebody love you, before it’s too late. ~ The Eagles

Statistics means never having to say you’re certain.

And though I ebb in worth, I’ll flow in thanks. ~ John Taylor

To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven. ~ Johannes A. Gaertner

What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets.  I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? ~ Erma Bombeck

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. ~ John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Would that I could as easily discover the truth as point out error. ~ Cicero

Nowadays some people expect the door of opportunity to be opened with a remote control. ~ M. Charles Wheeler

TGIF – Thank God I’m Forgiven

Don’t give up.  Moses was once a basket case.    ++

Old ladies can eat more than you think. ~ Peter Kay

One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronized with a complete stranger. ~ Peter Kay

I’ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn’t it. – Groucho Marx

He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh. ~ The Koran

People seldom do what they believe in, they do what is convenient, and then repent. ~ Bob Dylan

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?    ++

The cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself. ~ Benjamin Franklin    ++

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. ~ Indira Gandhi