Dave’s Daily Quotes

You do know what would have happened if it had been three wise WOMEN instead of men, don’t you? They would have asked for directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, and brought disposable diapers as gifts. ~ Jill Holly Bethune Wood

You can’t live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you. ~ John Wooden

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards? ~ Al Boliska

Many of us are at the “metallic age”–gold in our teeth, silver in our hair, and lead in our pants.

Any fool can count the seeds in an apple. Only God can count all the apples in one seed. ~ Robert Schuler    ++

Nature is wonderful:  millions of years ago she didn’t know we were going to wear glasses, yet look at the way she placed our ears.

Giving until it hurts is not a true measure of generosity.  Some are easier hurt than others.

Notice in a church bulletin:  ‘The Lord loveth a cheerful giver. He also accepteth from a grouch.’

A girdle is a device to make a woman slimmer on the outside than she is on the inside.

George Washington was the first and last man elected President of the United States without telling a lie.

If you want total security, go to prison. There you’re fed, clothed, given medical care and so on. The only thing lacking… is freedom. ~ Dwight D. Eisenhower

Is not a kiss the very autograph of love? ~ Henry Finck

What does not kill me makes me stronger. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

My wife said I never listen to her. At least I think that’s what she said.  ++

To talk without thinking is to shoot without aiming.

The shortest distance between two points is how far apart they are.

Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo…

Marriage is love. Love is blind. Marriage is an institution. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

Friends don’t let friends drive naked.    ++

On one issue at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women. ~ Anonymous

What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner. ~ Anonymous

I disagree with unanimity.     ++

Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness otherwise it’s hard to tell if someone is inconspicuous.

If he asks what sort of books you’re interested in, tell him checkbooks. ~ Anonymous

Best way to get a man to do something–suggest they are too old for it.   ++