Dave’s Daily Quotes

Men aren’t attracted by my mind; they’re attracted by what I don’t mind. ~ Mae West

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. ~ Gloria Steinem

I’d rather entrust the government of the United States to the first 400 people listed in the Boston telephone directory than to the faculty of Harvard University. ~  William F. Buckley, Jr

I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress. ~ Ronald Reagan

The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they’re ignorant; it’s just that they know so much that isn’t so.  ~ Ronald Reagan

Always be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else. ~ Judy Garland

Life is about how we react to the opportunities that come our way. If we react to the world, we become bitter. If we react to God, we become better.

Hope is the word which God has written on the brow of every man.  ~ Victor Hugo

Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.  ~ Maori Proverb

In time of test, family is best.  ~ Burmese Proverb

The ideal doctor is patient. ~ Robert Haven Schauffler

Comic relief is when you add a touch of humor to an otherwise serious situation.  It’s like the word “obey” in the marriage ceremony.

Burritos are sleeping bags for ground beef. ~ Mitch Hedberg

If you tell me you have a personality problem, I am not certain until I know you better whether to say ‘Good!’ or ‘I’m sorry’. ~ Abraham Maslow

Cheap? If he was at the Last Supper, he would have asked for separate checks! ~ Robert Orben

Along with success comes a reputation for wisdom. ~ Euripides

I like it when somebody gets excited about something. It’s nice. ~ J.D. Salinger

Money changes people just as often as it changes hands. ~ Al Batt

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest–then we can all die laughing. ~ Lily Tomlin

The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins? ~ Edgar Allan Poe

Maturity is the ability to see and act on behalf of others. ~ John Maxwell

Anything less than a conscious commitment to the important is an unconscious commitment to the unimportant. ~ Stephen R. Covey

It always puzzles me to hear of professional women.  Are there any amateurs?

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up. ~ Ogden Nash

How many theologians does it take to change a light bulb? 100–one to change the bulb, and 99 to explain why an infinite God of love would allow darkness to occur in the world at all.