Dave’s Daily Quotes

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

Girls who don’t get asked out as often as their friends could feel out-dated.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.    ++

Chronic illegal parkers suffer from parking zones disease.

A lawyer for a church did some cross-examining.

Ancient orators tended to Babylon.

I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid.

I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.    ++

I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.

I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.

Ever wonder why we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage?

Don’t do for others what, given the chance, they wouldn’t do for themselves.

Sometimes, as practice for trying to convince myself that God exists, I try to convince my shadow that the sun exists. ~ Robert Brault

When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.

Without geography, you’re nowhere.

That’s the problem with eternity, there’s no telling when it will end. ~ Tom Stoppard

Americans are apt to be unduly interested in discovering what average opinion believes average opinion to be. ~ John Maynard Keynes

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. ~ George Bernard Shaw    ++

Where does the fire go when the fire goes out?

The difference between the Pope and your boss?  The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.  ++

It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.    ++

Next time you wave, use all your fingers.    ++

There are always three speeches, for every one you actually gave. The one you practiced, the one you gave, and the one you wish you gave. ~ Dale Carnegie

Now the thing about having a baby–and I can’t be the first person to have noticed this–is that thereafter you have it. ~ Jean Kerr