Dave’s Daily Quotes

Police recently arrested a man who was selling pills that would give you eternal youth. Police discovered that it was the fourth time this man was arrested. The earlier arrests were made in 1799, 1852 and 1921. ~ Anonymous

I am having an out of money experience.

The world is round so that friendship may encircle it. ~Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. ~ Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

The day will come when, after harnessing space, the winds, the tides, and gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of Love. And on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, we shall have discovered fire. ~ Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Happiness begins where selfishness ends. ~ John Wooden

If some persons died, and others did not die, death would be a terrible affliction. ~ Jean De La Bruyere

Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn’t permanent. ~ Jean Kerr

It is not I who become addicted, it is my body. ~ Jean Cocteau

An empty man is full of himself. ~ Edward Abbey

May you live to be 100 and may the last voice you hear be mine. ~ Frank Sinatra

We’re surrounded? Good, now we can kill the bastards in any direction. ~ Colonel Lewis B. “Chesty” Puller, USMC; Korean War

The place was so crowded, you couldn’t breathe in and out. You had to breathe up and down.

Once you accept the fact that you’re not perfect, then you develop some confidence.  ~ Rosalynn Carter

The greatest explorer on this earth never takes voyages as long as those of the man who descends to the depth of his heart. ~  Julien Green

Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight.  These, of course, are only round figures.

I heard the bells on Christmas Day. Their old familiar carols play. And wild and sweet the words repeat. Of peace on earth goodwill to men. ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present!

Christmas:  The time of year when everyone gets Santamental.

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad!

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas? Thanks, I’ll never part with it!

What’s the best thing to give your parents for Christmas? A list of everything you want!

Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind. ~ Mary Ellen Chase

I wonder what Christmas will be, No merriment, good cheer or glee, Now that Santa’s arrested, Because someone protested, That he laid some doll ‘neath their tree.

Q:  Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? A:  You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit takes all the credit