Dave’s Daily Quotes

Old Butchers never die, they just meat somewhere else.

Old bond investors never die, they just yield to maturity.     ++

Old academics  never die, they just lose their faculties.

Best friends are the siblings God forgot to give us. ~ Anonymous

Experimental psychologist:  A scientist who pulls habits out of rats. ~ Leonard Louis Levinson

Censor:  A man who knows more than he thinks you ought to. ~ Laurence Peter

You don’t die of a broken heart, you only wish you did. ~ Marilyn Peterson

If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size?  ~ Sydney J. Harris

Sticks and stones may break your bones when there’s anger to impart. /  Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart. ~Anonymous

The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps! ~ Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady of the United States, 1945

There are only two kinds of people that understand Marines: Marines and the enemy. Everyone else has a second-hand opinion. ~ Gen. William Thornson, U.S. Army

Fear is the enemy of logic. There is no more debilitating, crushing, self-defeating, sickening thing in the world–to an individual or to a nation. ~Frank Sinatra

You gotta love livin’, baby, ’cause dyin’ is a pain in the ass. ~ Frank Sinatra

You treat a lady like a dame, and a dame like a lady. ~ Frank Sinatra

Dear Santa.  All I want for Christmas this year is thick hair and a thin body. Please don’t get it mixed up like you did last year… ~ Anonymous

A drink a day keeps the shrink away. ~ Edward Abbey

Society is like a stew.  If you don’t stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the top. ~ Edward Abbey

Women truly are better than men. Otherwise, they’d be intolerable. ~ Edward Abbey

Happy wife, happy life. ~ Dave Matthews  ++

Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother–you’re not sure what you’ve got but you’re pretty sure you’re not going to like it. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon. ~ W. C. Fields

I drink therefore I am. ~ W. C. Fields

Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad. ~ W. C. Fields

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. ~ W. C. Fields

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. ~ W. C. Fields