Dave’s Daily Quotes

I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do. ~ Phyllis Diller

It is not how old you are, but how you are old. ~ Marie Dressler

Those who restrain desire do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained. ~ William Blake

When you are lost, enjoy the view.

We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh. ~ Agnes Repplier

An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support. ~ John Buchan    ++

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up–they have no holidays. ~ Henny Youngman    ++

Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.  ~ G. K. Chesterton

If there were no God, there would be no Atheists. ~ G. K. Chesterton

The quality of American life must keep pace with the quantity of American goods. This country cannot afford to be materially rich and spiritually poor. ~ John F. Kennedy

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience. ~ Doug Larson

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!  ~ Tom Lehrer

I just need enough to tide me over until I need more. ~ Bill Hoest

If we are what we eat, then I’m easy, fast, and cheap.    ++

The bonds of matrimony are a good investment, only when the interest is kept up.

People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also an expression of character. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

It’s not that I’m out of touch with reality. It’s just that I have a bad opinion of it. ~ G.P.  Greenwood

A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry and see a fine picture every day of his life in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted on the human soul. ~ Goethe

Years ago, it meant something to be crazy. Now everyone’s crazy. ~ Charles Manson

WEE  HIGHER  ILLITRUTS.

You can’t buy back your youth, but you can pay for it later. ~ Jeff Stephens

Secret Admirer:  a stalker with stationery.

Instant human! Just add coffee.

I’m hopelessly addicted to placebos–I’d give them up, but it’d make no difference. ~ Steven Wright

I was a dude before marrying. Now I’m subdued.