Dave’s Daily Quotes

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. ~ Groucho Marx

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere. ~ Mae West

Virtue is its own punishment.

1.   You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity. 2.    What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. 3,    The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. 4.    When half of the people…

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down. ~ Flip Wilson

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. ~ Robin Williams

There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing about.  ++

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. ~ Leo Tolstoy

If you can give your son or daughter only one gift, let it be enthusiasm. ~ Bruce Barton     ++

Real eyes realize real lies. ~ Machine Head

Prevent truth decay. Brush up on your Bible.

God loves you, and I’m trying. ~ John Sohl

Without Jesus there would be hell to pay!

Isn’t the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut? ~ Steven Wright

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so stay wasted all the time, and have the time of your life!

Work fascinates me–I can look at it for hours!

My hometown is so tough, gun shops have “Back to School” sales.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

Are you harboring a fugitive? Hu Yu Hai Ding? See me A.S.A.P. – Kum Hia Nao Stupid Man – Dum Gai Small Horse – Tai Ni Po Ni Your price is too high!!! – No Bai Dam Thing!! Did you go to the beach? – Wai Yu So Tan I bumped into a coffee table…

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

When death, like a gypsy, comes to steal what I love, I will still look to the Heavens, I will still seek Your face. ~ Jars of Clay

Often it is fatal to live too long. ~ Racine

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven’t committed. ~ Anthony Powell

A diplomatic husband said to his wife, “How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?”

Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while. ~ Groucho Marx