Dave’s Daily Quotes

Why do men take up crime when there are so many legal ways to be dishonest? ~ Laurence J. Peter

None of us is as good as all of us. ~ Ray Kroc

Life’s tough. It’s tougher if you’re stupid. ~ John Wayne

Need some time to be alone, try washing the dishes!

First Law of Bicycling:  No matter which way you ride, it’s uphill and against the wind.

Pet owner: Every time a bell rings my dog goes and sits in the corner. Veterinarian: That’s perfectly normal; he’s a boxer.

People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either of them being made.  ++

People are never too busy to tell you all that they still have to do.

An aide approaches the Pope and tells him that he has good news and bad news. “What’s the good news?” The Pope asked. “We just learned that Jesus has retuned to Earth,” the aide said. “Wow, that’s incredible!  What a glorious day this is.  What could possibly be bad enough to ruin this news?” asked…

After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.  His father asked him three times what was wrong.  Finally, the boy replied, “That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys.”

There are two kinds of men who never amount to very much: Those who cannot do what they are told, and those who can do nothing else. ~ Cyrus H.K. Curtis

It isn’t procrastination if you put it off right away.

The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some minds are like concrete:  thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

I’m getting so old that all my friends in heaven will think I didn’t make it. ~ Chambers

People want the front of the bus; back of the church and center of attention.    ++

People are funny. They want the front of the bus, middle of the road, and the back of the church.  ~ Anonymous

Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid. ~ Anonymous

You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want. ~ Zig Ziglar

I traded in my wife’s piano for a clarinet. You can’t sing while playing a clarinet.  ++

Love looks forward, hate looks back, anxiety has eyes all over its head. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

Any concern too small to be turned into a prayer is too small to be made into a burden.  ~ Corrie ten Boom

I’m a big sports fan. I keep the athletes cool while they’re playing.

If you give someone a piece of your mind, are you left with peace of mind?

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. ~ Horace Walpole