Dave’s Daily Quotes

What is the essence of America?  Finding and maintaining that perfect, delicate balance between freedom “to” and freedom “from.”  ~ Marilyn vos Savant  

I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives.  I like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him. ~ Abraham Lincoln

I have a photographic memory, sometimes it’s a little blurry though. ~ Adam Wiezycki  

This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave. ~ Elmer Davis  

A little nonsense now and then / is relished by the wisest men. ~ Willy Wonka    

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards.  I got a full house and four people died. ~ Steven Wright  

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.  ~ Groucho Marx  

Turn on, tune in, and drop out. ~ Timothy Leary  

If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything. ~ Mark Twain  

He who has seen the end of war is…dead. ~ Plato  

We didn’t lose the game;  we just ran out of time. ~ Vince Lombardi  

Not only does God play dice with the universe, sometimes he throws them where they cannot be seen. ~ Stephen Hawking

Beauty is only skin deep. On the inside, we’re all mushy and gross. ~ Louis Krattek   ++  

There’s more than one way to skin a cat, and all but two of them are fun. ~ Jack Melnick  

Anyone with money to burn will always find himself surrounded by people with matches. ~ Joe Ryan  

If time were a color, I bet it would be a tasteful off-white. ~ Greg Parrish  

Whenever I’m driving through the desert and I see a roadrunner, I run it over and say, “That’s for the coyote!” I don’t really like the coyote, but it’s a good excuse to run over things. ~ Craig Stacey  

If I can make just one person laugh, then it must’ve been a pretty good eulogy. ~ Wade Kwon  

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana…  The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can’t remember what they are. ~ Matt Lauer  

Anger:  an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.  

A hypochondriac’s life is a bed of neuroses.  

Money isn’t everything, but poverty is absolutely nothing.  

The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep’s throat, for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as his liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same act as the destroyer of liberty. ~ Abraham Lincoln  

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry. ~ Rita Rudner ++

Think I may have embarrassed my wife.  She asked what was my favorite toiletry and I told her Reader’s Digest. ~ Dave Matthews