Dave’s Daily Quotes

All mankind is divided into three classes: those who are immovable, those who are movable; and those who move. ~ Benjamin Franklin

A man who thinks he is smarter than his wife has a very smart wife!

America is the only country in the world where the poor have a parking problem.

Genetics: Why you look like your father, or if you don’t, why you should.

I’m trying to see things from your point of view, but I can’t stick my head that far up my ass!

Every time I try to see things your way, I get a headache.

If you’re not playing with a full deck, then don’t shuffle in public.

We do survive every moment, after all, except the last one. ~ John Updike

You can be a victor without having victims. ~ Harriet Woods

Your power is proportional to your ability to relax. ~ David Allen

Action speaks louder than words, but not nearly as often. ~ Mark Twain

Art, like morality, consists in drawing a line somewhere. ~ G. K. Chesterton

Don’t let the same dog bite you twice. ~ Chuck Berry

He who angers you conquers you. — Elizabeth Kenny

He who limps still walks. — Stanislaw Lec

In a conversation, keep in mind that you’re more interested in what you have to say than anyone else. ~ Andy Rooney

Life experiences are like quarters; you loose both when you sit around on the couch. ~ Anonymous

No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched. — George Jean Nathan

As nightfall does not come all at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight. And it is in such twilight that we all must be aware of change in the air–however slight–lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness. ~ Justice William O. Douglas, US Supreme Court

If it’s there and you can see it–it’s real. If it’s there and you can’t see it–it’s transparent. If it’s not there and you can see it–it’s virtual. If it’s not there and you can’t see it–it’s gone!

Hysteria is a chaotic and irrational emotional state caused by seeing how the world really operates. ~ Robert Anton Wilson

You know, great names in science come and go…but Ampere will always be current.

Contrary to popular opinion, facts are not established by popular opinion.

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK: “Indubitably” “Innovative” “Preliminary” “Proliferation” “Cinnamon” THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK: “Specificity” “British Constitution” “Passive-aggressive disorder” “Loquacious Transubstantiate” THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK: “Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex.” “Nope, no more booze for me.”…

Agnostic apathetic isolationist. (I don’t know. I don’t care. Go away.)