Dave’s Daily Quotes

Advice to worms:  Sleep late.  

A wink is an optical allusion.  

A toast to the kisses you’ve snatched and vice-versa. ~ Anonymous  

A flying saucer occurs when a nudist spills his coffee. ~ Anonymous  

People of character do the right thing, not because they think it will change the world but because they refuse to be changed by the world. ~ Michael Josephson  

When one has not had a good father, one must create one. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche  

The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother’s always a democrat. ~ Robert Frost  

In peace the sons bury their fathers, but in war the fathers bury their sons. ~ Croesus  

All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward. ~ Ellen Glasgow  

In Googlis non est, ergo non est.  (Lat:  If it is not on Google, it does not exist.)  

I’ve learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances. ~ Martha Washington  

Human happiness and moral duty are inseparably connected. ~ George Washington  

Friends:                         Never ask for food. Southern Friends:     Always bring the food.    ++     Friends:                         Say yes, that looks good on you. Southern Friends:     Say … what the hell are you wearing    ++     Friends:                         Will say ‘hello.’ Southern Friends:     Will give you a big hug and a…

DICTIONARY:  A place where success comes before work and divorce comes before marriage.  ++  

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS:  A doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end. [ Reportedly, the 2007 winning entry from an annual contest at Texas A&M University. ]  

It’s sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.  ~ Brigitte Bardot  

An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, “For fast,  fast relief, take two tablets.”    ++  

Why listen to radio sermons?  For one thing, people don’t turn and stare at you when the preacher denounces your pet sin.  

A public-opinion poll is no substitute for thought. ~ Warren Buffett  

Key difference between man and animals is that animals are content with the horrors provided by nature.  

Another difference between husband and wife?  He says it’s overdrawn and she says it’s under-deposited.

Advantage of an electric razor?  Well,  you don’t have to sober up to shave.  ++  

An old-timer is one who can remember when going to the eternal rest didn’t mean landing a job with the government.  ++  

Another advantage of a small car is that you can squeeze twice as many into a traffic jam.  

The happiness of my life depends on the quality of my thoughts. ~ Marcus Aurelius