Dave’s Daily Quotes

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. ~ Albert Einstein  

It has been conclusively proven that smoking is a leading cause of statistics.  

Franklin D. Roosevelt never said, “The only thing we have to sphere is sphere itself.”  

186,000 miles per second. It’s not just a good idea; it’s the law.  

Sex is the most fun you can have without logging on.  

Darth Vader’s wife is named Ella.    ++  

Why did the computer break down? Because it had a terminal illness!  

Great men may die, but there ideas won’t. ~ Kelly Nelson  

I’ve reached the age where competence is a turn-on.  ~ Billy Joel  

Women like silent men.  They think they’re listening.  ~ Marcel Achard  

I’m afraid to win, and afraid to lose; I hate a draw and can’t stop competing; otherwise I’m fine.  ~ Mignon McLaughlin    ++  

It is important to our friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them, and important to friendship that we are not. ~ Mignon McLaughlin  

If you can’t convince them, confuse them. ~ Harry S. Truman    ++  

Humor results when society says you can’t scratch certain things in public, but they itch in public.  ~ Tom Walsh    ++  

I may be a twin but I’m one of a kind.  ~ Anonymous  

The important thing is this:  To be able at any moment to sacrifice that which we are for what we could become.  ~ Charles DuBois  

The older I get, the better I was.  

It’s not who you know, it’s who knows you.

Pitch or get off the mound.  

Whoever is in charge of making sure I don’t do dumb stuff is fired.  

Did you know that humans are the only species to go out of our way to obtain milk after we’ve been weaned? I think that’s because we were the only species with cookies.  

Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.  

How do we not have lightsabers yet?  Its like scientists aren’t even trying.  

You never realize how weird your family is until you start to describe them to someone else.  

A buffet is where you find out what kind of person you really are.