Dave’s Daily Quotes

I lay awake listening to the silence, and felt the silence listening to me. ~ Dean Koontz  

To sell something, tell a woman it’s a bargain; tell a man it’s deductible. ~ E. Wilson  

A house without books is a room without windows. ~ Horace Mann  

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly. ~ Demetri Martin  

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper.  See, the paper I used said ‘Happy Birthday’ on it.  I didn’t want to waste it so I just wrote ‘Jesus’ on it. ~ Demetri Martin  

I like when good things happen to me, but I wait two weeks to tell anyone because I like to use the word ‘fortnight.’  ~ Demetri Martin

How much roadkill do you think is suicide? Come on, some of those bastards are stepping out on purpose.  ~ Kathleen Kanz  

Bees have to move very fast to stay still.  ~ David Foster Wallace  

I do things like get in a taxi and say, “The library, and step on it.”  ~ David Foster Wallace  

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic and a dyslexic? You get someone who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question of whether or not there’s a dog. ~ David Foster Wallace  

The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.  ~ Mark Twain  

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. ~ Terry Pratchett  

It can take a surprisingly long time to get from one part of my mind to another. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant  

Strange as it may seem, my life is based on a true story. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant  

What’s the difference between snowmen and snowladies?  Snowballs.  

How can I be sure I’ve succeeded if I can’t remember what I was trying to do? ~ Ashleigh Brilliant   

You can lead people to knowledge but you can’t make them think. ~  Chicago Tribune  

Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living. ~ Jonathan Safran Foer  

I felt suddenly shy. I was not used to shy.  I was used to shame.  Shyness is when you turn your head away from something you want.  Shame is when you turn your head away from something you do not want. ~ Jonathan Safran Foer  

It isn’t the load that breaks us down, it’s the way we carry it.  

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.  Most of us have gears we never use. ~ Charles Schulz  

If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading!

If hunger is not the problem, then food is not the answer.  

Nothing is more painful than regret.  

Jesus can walk on water. Humans are 65% water. I can walk on humans. I am 65% Jesus. (thanks Nicole Valen)