Dave’s Daily Quotes

No one can tell what goes on in between the person you were and the person you become. No one can chart that blue and lonely section of hell. There are no maps of the change. You just… come out the other side. Or you don’t. ~ Stephen King

Money is the root of all wealth.

No man knows his true character until he has run out of gas, purchased something on the installment plan, and raised an adolescent. ~ Marcelene Cox

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.

Life is like soccer… you need goals!

There is no “I” in slut…..but there is a “U.”

I’m going to go and find myself.  If I’m back before I return, keep me here until I come home!

It’s funny how you think I’m listening….

I prefer to describe myself as a ‘contemporary anthropological interactive observer’ because “stalker” sounds bad.

You can better lose a lover than love a loser.

Friends are like condoms, they protect you through hard times.

Passwords are like underwear: change them often.

I’m knot dumb!

There needs to be a thorough examination, by Muslims everywhere, of why it is that the faith they love breeds so many violent mutant strains. ~ Salman Rushdie, Washington Post, Sept 2001

1. Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at a time.   2. Use your MasterCard to pay your Visa and vice-versa.   3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.   4. When someone says “have a nice day”, tell them you have other…

The world is round; it has no point. ~ Adrienne Gusoff

If you live your life with your head up your a**, you’ll always experience the same old s**t.

Girls just want to have funds. ~ Adrienne Gusoff

Any book worth banning is a book worth reading.

What’s wrong with telling a lawyer joke?  Lawyers don’t think they’re funny and no one else thinks they’re jokes.

Always specify that your drive-through order is to go.

Take life with a grain of salt… a slice of lime, and a shot of tequila.

The watermelons in my garden are so big it wouldn’t take many to make a dozen.

Never be afraid to sit awhile and think. ~ Lorraine Hansberry

Computer people have often spoken of the “gigo” effect, standing for “garbage in – garbage out.” What gives some of us chills is the thought of a second meaning of “gigo”: “garbage in – gospel out.” It can happen here.