Dave’s Daily Quotes

Being Politically Correct means always having to say you’re sorry.

One of the hardest things to imagine is that you are not smarter than average. ~ Jonathan Fuerbringer

Luck is largely a matter of paying attention. ~ Susan M. Dodd

Our visions of what is better are always informed by our perception of what is bad about our present situation. ~ Lugones & Spelman

Following the rules will not get the job done. Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.

Thank God for dirty dishes, They have a tale to tell; While others may go hungry, We’re eating very well. ~ Anonymous

Vacuums don’t clean houses.  People clean houses. ~ Lew Schneider (Nature abhors a vacuum, and so do I.)

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always your turn to do the dishes.

I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn.  ~ C.E. Cowman

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. ~ Erma Bombeck

I dreamed of wind, a wind there came And through the branches blew.  I dreamed of leaves, of leave of gold, And leaves of gold there grew.  J. R. R. Tolkien

Thanks to television, for the first time the young are seeing history made before it is censored by their elders. ~ Margaret Mead

Life is like photography. You use the negative to develop.

Last week, I went to a furniture store to look for a decaffeinated coffee table.

The idea is to die young as late as possible.

Is your holier side your altar ego?

What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit? Bugs Bunny.

Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two: One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a suprising twist at the end.   Q: How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? A: One.   Q:…

On my first day of school my parents dropped me off at the wrong nursery. There I was…surrounded by trees and bushes.

Q.  Why can’t a woman ask for help from her brother? A.  He can’t be a brother and assist her, too.   Q.  What do TV reporters wear under their pants? A.  News briefs   Q.  What do frogs wear for a night out on the town? A.  Jumpsuits.   Q.  How can you tell…

Many of our ambitions are nipped in the budget.

If it’s the thought that counts, think money.

PRENATAL:  When your life was still somewhat your own.

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.” His son asked, “What happened to the flea?”

So, do you comb hair often?