Dave’s Daily Quotes

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it. ~ Franklin P. Jones    ++

Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it.  ~ Anonymous

Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must.  ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Don’t wait for the Last Judgment.  It happens every day.  ~ Albert Camus

Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.  ~ Thomas à Kempis

It was how you came to love someone in the first place, he was thinking, you notice something pure. Thus the popularity of dogs and babies. ~ “Spooner,” by Pete Dexter

To advise is easier than to help. ~ German proverb

He that has no children brings them up well. ~ Spanish proverb

Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box. ~ Italian proverb

A man can’t get rich if he takes proper care of his family. ~ Navajo Proverb

Don’t be afraid of growing slowly, be afraid of standing still. ~ Chinese proverb

The road to a friend’s house is never long. ~ Swedish proverb

The true nature of a heart is seen in its response to the unattractive. ~ S.I. Kishor

The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. ~ Mahatma Gandhi

They are happiest who have power to gather wisdom from a flower. ~ Mary Howitt

What excuse do I have for not being married?  I was born that way!

Daddy, before you married Mommy, who told you how to drive?

Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start out with two hearts and a diamond, and end up wishing you had a club and a spade.

When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges. ~ Jack Handey

I hope, when they die, cartoon characters have to answer for their sin. ~ Jack Handey

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children’s children, because I don’t think children should be having sex. ~ Jack Handey

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad.  And I’m tired of making other people feel good about themselves. ~ Dan Castellaneta

Once you can accept the universe as being something expanding into an infinite nothing which is something, wearing stripes with plaid is easy. ~ Albert Einstein

I was so poor growing up–if I wasn’t a boy, I’d have had nothing to play with. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

Boy, life takes a long time to live. ~ Steven Wright