Dave’s Daily Quotes

You can turn dollars into cents, and sense into dollars, though not dollars into sense.

Being dead right doesn’t make you any less dead.

People are always available for work in the past tense.  ++

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.  ++

Don’t be irreplaceable; if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

I intend to live forever…so far, so good. ~ Steven Wright

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand. ~ Steven Wright

If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends? ~  Steven Wright

God is a comedian playing to an audience that is afraid to laugh. ~ Voltaire

If  love is the answer could you please repeat the question? ~ Lily Tomlin

Mother Nature is not a vegetarian.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. ~ Albert Einstein

Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. ~ Mark Twain

Silence is golden. Make me a millionaire. ~ Ernest Buchanan

Please remain calm, it’s no use both of us being hysterical at the same time.

I read Playboy for the same reason I read National Geographic.  To see the sights I’m never going to visit.

When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, “The handle is one of us!” ~ Turkish proverb

Absque argento omnia vana. ~ Latin:  Without money, all efforts are in vain.

If you accept the expectations of others, especially the negative ones, then you will never change the outcome. ~ Michael Jordan

Pure love cannot exist where there is fear of retribution. ~ Anonymous

Opportunities are like sunrises. If you wait too long, you miss them. ~ William Arthur Ward

Conflict in inevitable, but combat is optional. ~ Max Lucade

Be kind. Remember, everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. ~ T.H. Thompson

The cyclone derives it’s powers from a calm center. So does a person. ~ Norman Vincent Peale

Commitment is a line you must cross. It is the difference between dreaming and doing. ~ Bernie Fuche