Dave’s Daily Quotes

FOREPLOY (n.):   Any misrepresentation or outright lie about yourself that leads to sex

Guys…just because you have one, doesn’t mean you have to be one.

I could get a new lease on life but I need the first and last month in advance. ~ Anonymous

When we lose one we love, our bitterest tears are called forth by the memory of hours when we loved not enough. ~ Maurice Maeterlinck

I am convinced that it is not the fear of death, of our lives ending that haunts our sleep so much as the fear… that as far as the world is concerned, we might as well never have lived. ~ Harold Kushner

Life is the flower for which love is the honey. ~ Victor Hugo

I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos. ~ Charles M. Schulz

Unless you move, the place where you are is the place where you will always be. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

We’ve been through so much together, and most of it was your fault. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

Words are a wonderful form of communication, but they will never replace kisses and punches. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

He made man, and put his heart in the midst of the body, and gave him breath, life, and understanding. ~ Bible, Ezra 16:61

Anybody who claims that marriage is a 50/50 proposition doesn’t know anything about women or fractions.

Courage is not limited to the battlefield or the Indianapolis 500 or bravely catching a thief in your house. The real tests of courage are much quieter. They are the inner tests, like remaining faithful when nobody’s looking, like enduring pain when the room is empty, like standing alone when you’re misunderstood. ~ Charles Swindoll

To create is divine, to reproduce is human.

You see sir; death is an intellectual matter, but dying is pure pain. ~ John Steinbeck

I come from a small town whose population never changed. Each time a woman got pregnant, someone left town.

If brains were taxed, he’d get a rebate.

Comic relief is when you add a touch of humor to an otherwise serious situation.  It’s like the word “obey” in the marriage ceremony.    ++

I used to be a heavy gambler.  But now I just make mental bets. That’s how I lost my mind. ~ Steve Allen

It’s easy to make a buck.  It’s a lot tougher to make a difference. ~ Tom Brokaw

In Egypt, archeologists discovered the burial site of the 50 children of Ramses II… Fifty children!  What I want to know is, who decided to name a condom after this guy? ~ Conan O’Brien

I said to my wife, “Come on, honey.  I can’t remember the last time we made love.” She says, “Well I can–and that’s why we’re not.”

Never let memories cast a shadow over your dreams. ~ Anonymous

The teachings of elegant sayings should be collected when one can. For the supreme gift of words of wisdom, any price will be paid. ~ Nagarjuna

If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it in the beginning. ~ Mahatma Gandhi