Dave’s Daily Quotes

Why is it we never hear of a self-made woman?  

It is said that the present is pregnant with the future. ~ Anonymous  

Why did the chicken cross the road? Deregulation of the chicken’s side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its…

What did the number zero say to the number eight?  Nice belt!  

People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do…

It is amazing how long it takes to complete something you are not working on.  

Murphy’s Law was not propounded by Murphy, but by another man of the same name. ~ Anonymous  

If a job is not worth doing, it’s not worth doing right. ~ Anonymous  

When things go wrong, don’t go with them. ~ Anonymous  

First things first, but not necessarily in that order. ~ Anonymous  

You never run out of things that can go wrong. ~ Anonymous  

This manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good. ~ Samuel Johnson  

In any given set of circumstances, the proper course of action is determined by subsequent events. ~ Anonymous  

Make a list of things to do that you have already done.  Leave it where your spouse can find it.  

When you see a snake, never mind where he came from. ~ W.G. Benham  

When someone says “have a nice day,” tell them you have other plans. ~ Anonymous  

What is the difference between Humor and Odor?  Humor is a Shift of Whit!  

Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world. ~ Anonymous

I can go for more than seven days without sleep…so it’s a good thing I sleep nights.  

Can you… imagine an imaginary menagerie manager imagining managing an imaginary menagerie?    ++  

Heat causes things to expand. Thus, in summer the days are longer.    ++  

Illiterate? Write for free information.    ++  

Information is to be found in daily papers. We are informed about everything. We know nothing. ~ Saul Bellow

So much depends on being a person of depth. The interior must be at least as impressive as the exterior.  Some people’s character is all façade, like houses that, due to lack of means, have the portico of a palace leading to the rooms of a cottage. ~ Baltasar Gracián  

Even if we accept, as the basic tenet of true democracy, that one moron is equal to one genius, is it necessary to go a further step and hold that two morons are better than one genius? ~ Leó Szilárd