You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean. ++
You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night..
Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, “Hey watch this.”
You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
One of your kids was born on a pool table.
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
You come home from the garbage dump with more than you went with.
More than one living relative is named after a southern civil war general.
Your mother doesn’t remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass.
Your family tree doesn’t fork.
Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event.
You’ve ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
You think a Volvo is part of a woman’s anatomy.
You’ve been too drunk to fish.
You had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures
Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.
Someone in your family says “Cum’n here an’ look it this afore I flush it.”
You’ve been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.
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