Dave’s Daily Quotes

  • “The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.”

  • Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.

  • Never lose sight of the fact that old age needs so little but needs that little so much.  ~ Margaret Willour

  • The problem with beauty is that it’s like being born rich and getting poorer.  ~ Joan Collins

  • Problems with grammar have I. ~ Yoda

  • Breeding rabbits is a hare raising experience.

  • That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow…

  • Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning handsprings, or eating with chopsticks.  It looks easy until you try it.

  • The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love heterosexuals. It’s just that they need more supervision. ~ Lynn Lavner

  • I have lots of great personality traits. Or as my psychologist calls them, symptoms.

  • I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you!!

  • They say winning isn’t everything, and I’ve decided to take their word for it. ~ Bill Watterson

  • 50% of life is pulling percentages out of thin air and stating them as facts.

  • What you have become is the price you paid to get what you used to want. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

  • Technology now allows employers to cross the line from monitoring the work to monitoring the worker. ~ Cindia Cameron

  • No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather. ~ Michael Pritchard

  • God gives us faces; we create our own expressions.

  • Do’s and don’ts influence wills and won’ts.

  • It’s not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what’s required.  ~ Winston Churchill

  • All pipe is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by metal or plastic centered around the hole.

  • How do you stop children from bed wetting?  Electric blanket.

  • Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies, and popsicles.

  • According to recent surveys, 51% of the people are in the majority.

  • Life is like a doughnut. You’re either in the dough or in the hole.

  • If people listened to themselves more often, they would talk less.

Say hello!