Dave’s Daily Quotes

In life as in golf it is the follow through that makes the difference. ~ Kin Hubbard  

In times of rapid change, experience could be your worst enemy. ~ J. Paul Getty  

Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscripti catapultas habebunt. ~ (Latin:  When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults.)  

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, “Olive or twist?”

Vocabularian:  A person who makes up new words.  

Tomorrow:  One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.  ++  

Your might be a redneck if reading a sign that says “Say No To Crack!” reminds you to pull up your jeans. ~ Attributed to Jeff Foxworthy

Your might be a redneck if  your dog and your wallet are both on chains. ~ Attributed to Jeff Foxworthy  

Your might be a redneck if  you’ve ever financed a tattoo. ~ Attributed to Jeff Foxworthy

Your might be a redneck if  you think a Volvo is part of a woman’s anatomy. ~ Attributed to Jeff Foxworthy  

Your might be a redneck if  you think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader. ~ Attributed to Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if  you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland. ~ Attributed to Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your family tree doesn’t fork.  ~ Attributed to Jeff Foxworthy  

You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment. ~ Attributed to Jeff Foxworthy

What you do speaks so loud, I cannot hear what you say. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson  

A room without books is like a body without a soul. ~ Cicero  

Although I can accept talking scarecrows, lions and great wizards of emerald cities, I find it hard to believe there is no paperwork involved when your house lands on a witch. ~ Dave James

Don’t give me songs, give me something to sing about! ~ Joss Whedon

Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck. ~ Joss Whedon  

I handed in a script last year and the studio didn’t change one word. The word they didn’t change was on page 87.  ~ Steve Martin  

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. ~ Rita Rudner  

I have a map of the United States… actual size.  It says, “Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.”  I spent last summer folding it.  People ask me where I live, and I say, “E6”.  ~ Steven Wright  

Why do ballerinas stand on their tiptoes? Why don’t they just get taller women? ~ Steven Wright  

Sometimes we deny being worthy of praise, hoping to generate an argument we would be pleased to lose. ~  Cullen Hightower  

Saying what we think gives a wider range of conversation than saying what we know. ~ Cullen Hightower