Dave’s Daily Quotes

Did you know that “Dammit I’m mad” spelled backwards is “Dammit I’m mad?”  

Don’t let your ears “witness” what your eyes didn’t see, and don’t let your mouth speak what your heart doesn’t feel.  

Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.  

Everyone always talks about the early bird.  How about the early worm? How’d that work out for him?  

God loves me even when I don’t forward those chain letters.  

If the world doesn’t end on December 21st, 2012, I have a feeling there will be a lot of babies born on September 20th, 2013.  

Beaten paths are for beaten men. ~ Eric Johnston

It’s bad luck to be superstitious.  

We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glow-worm. ~  Winston S. Churchill  

I feel we are all islands–in a common sea. ~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh  

Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone. ~ Picasso  

One man with courage makes a majority. ~ Andrew Jackson  

I’ll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.  

I try to be positive.  Except on medical tests.  

Sometimes I wonder if it would be different if I HAD forwarded those chain emails.  

A recent study has shown that two in one people are schizophrenics.  

Statistics show that 5 out of 6 people enjoy playing Russian Roulette.  

The wife says a man who has lost 90% of his thought process is commonly referred to as a widower.  

Feeling a little drowsy…I’m sure there’s a nap for that.  

I bought a piece of furniture last night, but when I woke up it was gone.  Who knew they made one night stands!?  

FACT:  sharks will only attack you if you are wet.  

Why do you never see any midgets in prison? Is it because they get much shorter sentences?  

If you can’t keep in sight, at least keep in touch.  

Try to relax and enjoy the crisis. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant  

It takes a village to raise a child, but it takes a Viking to raze a village.