Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, “You know sometimes I just forget to eat.” Now I’ve forgotten my address, my mother’s maiden name, and my keys. But I’ve never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.<\/p>\n
A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn’t really care.<\/p>\n
They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn’t all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, “Body, how’d you like to go to the six o’clock class in vigorous toning?” Clear as a bell my body said, “listen witch… do it and die.”<\/p>\n
I know what Victoria’s Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.<\/p>\n
“If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?”\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ++<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, “You know sometimes I just forget to eat.” Now I’ve forgotten my address, my mother’s maiden name, and my keys. But I’ve never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat. A friend of mine confused her […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5391"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5391"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5391\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7864,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5391\/revisions\/7864"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5391"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5391"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5391"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}