{"id":4951,"date":"2010-11-29T19:58:47","date_gmt":"2010-11-30T00:58:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/?p=4951"},"modified":"2011-03-11T21:02:23","modified_gmt":"2011-03-12T02:02:23","slug":"male-or-female-everything-has-a-gender","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/?p=4951","title":{"rendered":"Male or Female, Everything has a Gender"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Apples are Female&#8211;the best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don&#8217;t want to reach for them as they&#8217;re afraid of falling and getting hurt.<\/p>\n<p>Wine is Male&#8211;it begins as a grape, and it&#8217;s up to women to stomp the crap out of it until it turns into something acceptable to have dinner with.<\/p>\n<p>Ziploc Bags are Male&#8211;they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. \u00a0 ++<\/p>\n<p>Copiers are Female&#8211;once turned off it takes a while to warm them up again. It&#8217;s an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.<\/p>\n<p>A Tire is Male&#8211;it goes bald and it is often over-inflated.<\/p>\n<p>A Hot Air Balloon is Male &#8211; to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it (of course, there&#8217;s the hot air part, too).<\/p>\n<p>Sponges are Female&#8211;they&#8217;re soft, squeezable and retain water. \u00a0 ++<\/p>\n<p>A Web Page is Female&#8211;it is always getting hit on.<\/p>\n<p>A Subway is Male&#8211;it uses the same old lines to pick up people.<\/p>\n<p>An Hourglass is Female&#8211;over time the weight shifts to the bottom.<\/p>\n<p>A Hammer is Male&#8211;it hasn&#8217;t changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it is handy to have around. \u00a0 ++<\/p>\n<p>A Remote Control is Female&#8211;it gives a man pleasure, he&#8217;d be lost without it, and while he doesn&#8217;t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!<\/p>\n<p>A Water Faucet is Female&#8211;it can turn hot or cold in just a matter of moments.<\/p>\n<p>A Safety Pin is Male&#8211;it is often useful in an emergency.<\/p>\n<p>A Foreign Movie is Female&#8211;it is not always completely understood.<\/p>\n<p>A Computer is Female&#8211;even your smallest mistakes are stored in memory.\u00a0 ++<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Apples are Female&#8211;the best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don&#8217;t want to reach for them as they&#8217;re afraid of falling and getting hurt. Wine is Male&#8211;it begins as a grape, and it&#8217;s up to women to stomp the crap out of it until it turns into something acceptable to have [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4951"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4951"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4951\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9524,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4951\/revisions\/9524"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4951"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4951"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4951"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}