1. \u00a0Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?<\/p>\n
2. \u00a0Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after.<\/p>\n
3. Do I look like a freakin’ people person?<\/p>\n
4. This isn’t an office-It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.<\/p>\n
5. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.<\/p>\n
6. I’ve found Jesus. He was behind the sofa the whole time.<\/p>\n
7. If I throw a stick, will you leave?<\/p>\n
8. You! Off my planet!<\/p>\n
9. Bottomless pit of needs & wants.<\/p>\n
10. I like cats, too. Let’s exchange recipes. \u00a0\u00a0 ++<\/p>\n
11. Friendly checkout clerk. Thanks for keeping me that way!<\/p>\n
12. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I’ll put shoes on my cat.<\/p>\n
13. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?<\/p>\n
14. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.\u00a0 ++<\/p>\n
15. And just how may I screw you over today?<\/p>\n
16.If only you’d use your powers for good instead of evil…<\/p>\n
17. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
1. \u00a0Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom? 2. \u00a0Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after. 3. Do I look like a freakin’ people person? 4. This isn’t an office-It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting. 5. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. 6. I’ve found Jesus. He was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16657"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=16657"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16657\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16658,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16657\/revisions\/16658"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=16657"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=16657"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=16657"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}