1. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …<\/p>\n
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
2. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …<\/p>\n
People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch ’em.<\/p>\n
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4. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …<\/p>\n
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.<\/p>\n
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5. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if…<\/p>\n
A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get out of” (Love it!)<\/p>\n
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6. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …<\/p>\n
The choir is known as the “OK Chorale”.<\/p>\n
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7. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …<\/p>\n
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.<\/p>\n
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8. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …<\/p>\n
People think “rapture” is what you get when you lift something too heavy.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
9. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …<\/p>\n
The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized ” Wheeling ” washtub.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
10. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if ….<\/p>\n
The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob’s Barbecue.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
11. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …<\/p>\n
The collection plates are really hubcaps from a ’56 Chevy.<\/p>\n
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12. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if ..<\/p>\n
Instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
13. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …<\/p>\n
The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
14. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …<\/p>\n
The communion wine is Boone’s Farm “Tickled Pink”.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
15. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if…<\/p>\n
“Thou shall not covet” applies to huntin’ dogs, too.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
16. You know You’re in a Redneck Church if …<\/p>\n
The final words of the benediction are, “Y’all come back now, Ya hear”.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
1. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if … The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one. 2. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if … People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16549"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=16549"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16549\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16550,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16549\/revisions\/16550"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=16549"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=16549"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davesdailyquotes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=16549"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}