One Pun Upun Another…

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.    ++

 

If you don’t pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

 

What’s the definition of a will? It’s a dead giveaway.

 

Every calendar’s days are numbered.

 

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

 

When the electricity went off during a storm at a school the students were de-lighted.

 

I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.

 

He wears glasses during math because it improves division.

 

She was only a whiskey maker but he loved her still.

 

She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

 

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

 

It wasn’t school John disliked it was just the principal of it.

 

It’s better to love a short girl than not a tall.

 

There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn’t control his pupils.

 

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

 

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

 

The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize.

 

Old power plant workers never die they just de-generate.

 

There was a ghost at the hotel, so they called for an inn specter.

 

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

 

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at

large.    ++

 

Some Spanish government employees are Seville servants.

 

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

 

Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was

a salted.

 

When cannibals ate a missionary they got a taste of religion.    ++

 

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.

 

He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.

 

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

 

Driving on so many turnpikes was taking its toll.

 

To some, marriage is a word.  To others, a sentence.

 

Old lawyers never die; they just lose their appeal.

 

In democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

 

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

 

It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

 

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