Great Female “Comebacks”

Man:  “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?”

Woman:  “Do not Enter!”

 

Man:  “Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason.”

Woman:  “Yeah!  Let’s pick up some chicks!”

 

Man:  “Hey, cutie, how ’bout you and I hitting the hot spots?”

Woman:  “Sorry, I don’t date outside my species..”

 

Man:  “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”

Woman:  “Unfertilized!”       ++

 

Man:  “I can tell that you want me.”

Woman:  “Ohhhh.  You’re so right.  I want you — to leave.”

 

Man:  “I know how to please a woman.”

Woman:  “Then, please, leave me alone.”

 

Man:  “I want to give myself to you.”

Woman:  “Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.”   ++

 

Man:  “I would go to the end of the world for you.”

Woman:  “Yes, but would you stay there?”

 

Man:  “I’d go through anything for you.”

Woman:  “Good!  Let’s start with your bank account.”     ++

 

Man:  “I’d like to call you.  What’s your number?”

Woman:  “It’s in the phone book.”

Man:  “But I don’t know your name.”

Woman:  “That’s in the phone book too.”

 

Man:  “If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.”

Woman:  “Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.”

 

Man:  “I’m here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy.”

Woman:  “You mean you’ve got both a donkey and a Great Dane?”

 

Man:  “Is this seat empty?”

Woman:  “Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.”

 

Man:  “So, wanna go back to my place?”

Woman:  “Well, I don’t know.  Will two people fit under a rock?”

 

Man:  “So, what do you do for a living?”

Woman:  “I’m a female impersonator.”      ++

 

Man:  “What sign were you born under?”

Woman:  “No Parking.”

 

Man:  “Your body is like a temple.”

Woman:  “Sorry, there are no services today.”

 

Man:  “Your place or mine?”

Woman:  “Both.  You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.”

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