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I wish for world peace, harmony and nudity.

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When we fall in love with someone there’s a moment when we take a picture of that person, an emotional snapshot, that we carry with us forever. If we are lucky, very lucky, the person we fall in love with will always resemble that snapshot. ~ Jim Geoghan

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Computer people have often spoken of the “gigo” effect, standing for “garbage in – garbage out.” What gives some of us chills is the thought of a second meaning of “gigo”: “garbage in – gospel out.” It can happen here.

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Today, you have 100% of your life left. ~ Tom Landry

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When you blame others you give up your power to change. ~ Anonymous

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You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them. ~ Michael Jordan

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God gave us two ends–one to sit on and one to think with. Success depends on which one you use. Head you win, tail you lose. ~ Anonymous

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If I’m not home, accepting what I can’t change, I’m probably out, changing what I can’t accept. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

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It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory. ~ W. Edwards Deming

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When I was young, I just wanted a BMW. Now that I’m older, I don’t need the W.

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What sunshine is to flowers…smiles are to humanity. ~ Joseph Addison

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Scientists have shown that the moon is moving away at a tiny yet measurable distance from the earth every year. If you do the math, you can calculate that 85 million years ago the moon was orbiting the earth at a distance of about 35 feet from the earth’s surface. This would explain the death […]

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You’re not yourself today.  It’s nice.

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Computer games don’t affect kids. I mean, if PacMan affected us as kids, we’d be running around in darkened rooms munching on pills and listening to repetitive music.

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And which dwarf are you?

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I saw a woman crying as she was buying tampons earlier. Must be going through a tough period in her life.

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With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three thousand miles closer to globular cluster 13 in the constellation Hercules, and still there are some misfits who continue to insist that there is no such thing as progress. — Ransom K. Ferm

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Once a new technology rolls over you, if you’re not part of the steamroller, you’re part of the road. ~ Stewart Brand

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The real world is not user-friendly.

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Life is extinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours.

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Until Eve arrived, this was a man’s world.  ~ Richard Armour

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Q: What do you get when you cross an ethernet with an income statement? A: A local area networth.

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I don’t think the world should be made so safe that we lose the educational benefits of consequences. ~ Virgil Elliot

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At times I think and at times I am. ~ Paul Valery

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If you start out depressed, everything is kind of like a pleasant surprise. ~ Lloyd Dobler (“Say Anything”)

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I’ll be ill if you remove the apostrophe.

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Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up. ~ Joseph Barth

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If a man truly wants to communicate with his wife, he must enter her world of emotions. ~ Gary Smalley

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You can’t leave footprints in the sands of time if you’re sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave butt prints in the sands of time? ~ Bob Moawad

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It kills me sometimes, how people die.~ Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

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Ah well, they say it’s not as bad as they say it is.

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When you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.

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Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!

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I once tried drawing Bill Murray on a one dollar bill but switched to drawing Jude Law. That didn’t work either so I gave up. Washington makes it too hard to turn a Bill into a Law.

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If you do not make dust, you eat dust.

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If you file it, you’ll know where it is but never need it. If you don’t file it, you’ll need it but never know where it is.

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Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

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I had amnesia once – maybe twice.

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You know you’re getting older when a $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good stuff.” You know you’re getting older when all your favorite music is in the bargain bin at Wal-Mart. You know you’re getting older when happy hour is a nap. You know you’re getting older when people call at 9 […]

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“Well, you already knew that life isn’t fair, right?” he said. “I guess death isn’t either.” ~ Suzanne Harper

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Changing one thing for the better is worth more than proving a thousand things are wrong.

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It’s easy to make a buck. It’s a lot tougher to make a difference. ~ Tom Brokaw

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The mistakes made by Congress wouldn’t be so bad if the next Congress didn’t keep trying to correct them. ~ Cullen Hightower

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In the absence of time we are left with the changeless, since change can take place only in time. ~ John Dobson

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A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. ~ Bertrand de Jouvenel

Immortality and Wishes

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I met a fairy today and she said she would grant me one wish. “I want to live forever,” I said. “Sorry,” said the fairy, “I’m not allowed to grant wishes like that!” “Fine,” I said, “then I want to die after Congress gets their heads out of their asses!” “You crafty bastard,” said the […]

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It isn’t necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It’s only necessary to be rich. ~ Alan Alda

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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. ~ George Burns

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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. ~ W. C. Fields

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If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses. ~ Lenny Bruce