Category Animals

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Don’t tell me you have a chocolate lab if you’re just talking about a kind of dog. ~ Chase Mitchell

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The cleaner the windshield, the stronger the magnetism to insects

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It has never been determined whether the early bird enjoys the worm as much as the late bird enjoys the extra sleep.    ++  

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Ham and eggs…a day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. ~ Anonymous

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A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves. ~ Edward R. Murrow

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Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.

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If today was a fish, I’d throw it back in.

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Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

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What happens when none of your bees wax?

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Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee much later than others. ~ Kin Hubbard

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You’re a primate. Get over it.

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My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That’s about $7 in dog money. ~ Joe Weinstein  

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Thesaurus: Ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary.  

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Are you a man or a mouse? Squeak up!  

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When vultures fly, are they allowed carrion luggage?  

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I went to a seafood dance party last week and pulled a mussel.  

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Teach a man to fish and you’ll feed him for the rest of his life. Teach a man to phish and he’ll clean out your bank account.  

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Five frogs are sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off. How many are left?  There are still five–because there’s a difference between deciding and doing. ~  Mark L Feldman & Michael F Spratt  

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Stable relationships are for horses.  

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We have stopped being fishers of men and we are now the keepers of the aquarium. ~ (variously attributed)  

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The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same. ~ Stendhal  

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Music soothes the savage beast…unless it’s polka.  

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It’s hard to soar like an eagle when you’re working with turkeys. ~ Jerry Dey

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The noblest of dogs is the hot dog; it feeds the hand that bites it.  

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Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen. ~ John Steinbeck  

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Laughing stock:  cattle with a sense of humor.  

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What’s needed in government is more horse sense and less nonsense.

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The hippo has no sting, but the wise man would rather be sat upon by the bee. ~ Polish proverb

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What color is a chameleon on a mirror?  

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A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves. ~ Edward R. Murrow  

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Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?  

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Sometimes the unicorn isn’t a unicorn; it’s just a donkey with a plunger on its face.

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I’m always a bit disappointed when I see a Kia Soul and there is no hamster driving it.  

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Butterflies.  If you throw it.  

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How much roadkill do you think is suicide? Come on, some of those bastards are stepping out on purpose.  ~ Kathleen Kanz  

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Bees have to move very fast to stay still.  ~ David Foster Wallace  

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What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic and a dyslexic? You get someone who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question of whether or not there’s a dog. ~ David Foster Wallace  

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Teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is as valuable to the child as it is to the caterpillar. ~ Bradley Millar  

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When an elephant flies, it shouldn’t be criticized for doing it badly. ~ Anonymous  

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Beware of quantum ducks (quark! quark!).  

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Ethernet is what you use to catch the Ether Bunny.  

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When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her. ~ Michel Eyquem De Montaigne

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Scientists are planning to put 300 head of cattle into orbit.  It’ll be the herd shot round the world.

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Everyone lays a burden on the willing horse. ~ Irish proverb  

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Everyone always talks about the early bird.  How about the early worm? How’d that work out for him?  

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We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glow-worm. ~  Winston S. Churchill  

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FACT:  sharks will only attack you if you are wet.  

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Your might be a redneck if  your dog and your wallet are both on chains. ~ Attributed to Jeff Foxworthy  

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You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment. ~ Attributed to Jeff Foxworthy

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‘Carpe Diem’ does not mean ‘fish of the day.’