Category America

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I hope I don’t sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud, but when I hear about people making vast fortunes without doing any productive work or contributing anything to society, my reaction is: “How can I get in on that?” ~ Dave Barry

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ABC News says Americans spend $300 billion every year on games of chance, and that doesn’t include weddings and elections. ~ Argus Hamilton

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America is the only country in the world where the poor have a parking problem.

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As nightfall does not come all at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight. And it is in such twilight that we all must be aware of change in the air–however slight–lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness. ~ Justice William O. Douglas, US Supreme Court

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I am not merely a “consumer” or a “taxpayer”.  I am a Citizen of the United States of America.

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It’s called the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. ~ George Carlin

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I once tried drawing Bill Murray on a one dollar bill but switched to drawing Jude Law. That didn’t work either so I gave up. Washington makes it too hard to turn a Bill into a Law.

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The mistakes made by Congress wouldn’t be so bad if the next Congress didn’t keep trying to correct them. ~ Cullen Hightower

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Everybody wants to eat at the government’s table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. ~ Werner Finck

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At the age of twelve, I began hustling newspapers like many other great Americans had done. The only difference was that they became great.

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The bumper sticker… is secular America’s Book of Proverbs. ~ John Shea

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It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can stop him from lynching me, and I think that’s pretty important. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

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Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell government what they want and their kids pay for it. ~ Richard Lamm

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 I don’t know what’s wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman. ~ Bruce Baum

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Free people are not equal, and equal people are not free.  ~ Lawrence Reed  http://www.mackinac.org/3832

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It is difficult to maintain the illusion that we are interpreting a Constitution, rather than inventing one, when we amend its provisions so freely. ~ Justice Antonin Scalia

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It is difficult to legislate morality in the absence of moral legislators. ~ Anonymous

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I am haunted by humans. ~ Markus Zusak

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The qualities that get a man into power are not those that lead him, once established, to use power wisely. ~ Lyman Bryson

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Freedom of expression is the matrix, the indispensable condition, of nearly every other form of freedom. ~ Benjamin Cardozo

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Democracy is two wolves and a lamb deciding what to have for dinner. Liberty is a well-armed lamb. ~ Benjamin Franklin

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Our reasoning goes something like this:  “If I want it, I need it.  If I need it, it’s my right.  If it’s my right, someone should give it to me.  Or else I’ll sue.” ~ Newsweek June 27, 1994

The Tax System Explained in Beer

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The Tax System Explained in Beer JANUARY 12, 2012 Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this… The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing The […]

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They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. ~ Benjamin Franklin  

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The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent vice of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. ~  Winston Churchill

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I may not agree with what you say, but I shall defend to the death your right to say it. ~ Evelyn Beatrice Hall

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I stopped at two gas stations today. I robbed the first one so I could pay the second.

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Ever notice how many government officials make their raises effective long before they ever are? ~ Alfred E. Neuman

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The government announced today that it is changing its national symbol to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government’s political stance.  A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and give you a sense of security while you’re being screwed. ~ Anonymous

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Q: What is the difference between an HMO doctor and a seagull? A: A seagull can still make a significant deposit on a Mercedes.

What is a Pre-Existing Condition?

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I was hitting the ski slopes when a bizarre accident occurred. While fumbling my way off a chair lift, another chair hit me from behind and knocked me out cold. I woke up with a headache, in a hospital bed and immediately called my insurance company. After explaining what happened the insurance rep said, “We’re […]

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They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it’s worked for over 200 years and we’re not using it anymore. ~ Anonymous

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[A] wise and frugal Government, which shall restrain men from injuring one another, shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned. ~ Thomas Jefferson

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We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm. ~ George Orwell  

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America believes in education:  The average college professor earns more in a year than the average professional athlete earns in a whole week. ~ Evan Esar

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Calling an illegal alien an “undocumented immigrant” is like calling a drug dealer an “unlicensed pharmacist.”

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There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him. ~ Robert Heinlein

Welcome to the Republican Party….

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A young teenage girl was about to finish her first year of college. She considered herself a very liberal Democrat but her father was a rather staunch Republican. One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition to taxes and welfare programs.   He stopped her and asked her how she was […]

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Suppose two-thirds of the members of the national House of Representatives were dumped into the Washington garbage incinerator tomorrow, what would we lose to offset our gain of their salaries and the salaries of their parasites? ~ H. L. Mencken

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Hanging one scoundrel, it appears, does not deter the next. Well, what of it? The first one is at least disposed of. ~ H. L. Mencken

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I’m learning to speak Spanish by calling my bank and pressing the #2 button. ~ Paul Alexander

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It may be true that you can’t fool all the people all the time, but you can fool enough of them to rule a large country.  ~ Will Durant

Why not have “Free Immigration”

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[prior to 1914, almost anyone was allowed to immigrate to the USA at any time]  …Because it is one thing to have free immigration to jobs. It is another thing to have free immigration to welfare. And you cannot have both. If you have a welfare state, if you have a state in which every […]

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Society doesn’t have values. People have values. ~ Milton Friedman  

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I don’t know if I can live on my income or not–the government won’t let me try it. ~ Bob Thaves  

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Recipe for disaster?  We live in a country that has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.

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Mentioning Jesus in speeches is small government.   Doing what Jesus asks is big government. ~ Stephen Colbert  

There Are Four Ways You Can Spend $

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There are four ways in which you can spend money. You can spend your own money on yourself. When you do that, why then you really watch out what you’re doing, and you try to get the most for your money. Then you can spend your own money on somebody else. For example, I buy […]

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Unquestionably there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages. ~ H. L. Mencken  

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Equality may perhaps be a right, but no power on earth can ever turn it into a fact. ~ Honore de Balzac