$ Money Quotes $

“I can’t believe you like money too. We should hang out.” ~ Anonymous

  1. “Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time.” ~ Jim Rohn
  2. “Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it” ~ William Somerset Maugham
  3. “If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.” ~ James Goldsmith
  4. He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” ~ Anonymous
  5. “Money is the best deodorant.” ~ Elizabeth Taylor
  6. “It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.” ~ Kin Hubbard
  7. “Too much money is as demoralizing as too little, and there’s no such thing as exactly enough.” ~ Mignon McLaughlin
  8. “Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” ~ Satchel Paige
  9. “When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same religion.” ~ Voltaire
  10. “A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.” ~ Yogi Berra
  11. “The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste.” ~ M. W. Harrison
  12. “When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart.” ~ John Wesley
  13. “Life shouldn’t be printed on dollar bills.” ~ Clifford Odets
  14. “If you make money your god, it will plague you like the devil.”~Henry Fielding
  15. “If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one.”" ~ George Gobel
  16. “There’s no money in poetry, but then there’s no poetry in money, either.” ~ Robert Graves
  17. “We can tell our values by looking at our checkbook stubs.” ~ Gloria Steinem
  18. “It’s a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money.” ~ Albert Camus
  19. “Your money, or your life. We know what to do when a burglar makes this demand of us, but not when God does.” ~ Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966
  20. “No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.” ~ Quoted in “P.S. I Love You”
  21. “I’d like to live as a poor man with lots of money.” ~ Pablo Picasso
  22. “If a person gets his attitude toward money straight, it will help straighten out almost every other area in his life.” ~ Billy Graham
  23. “We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules.” ~ Buzzie Bavasi
  24. “Lack of money is the root of all evil.” ~ George Bernard Shaw
  25. “Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” ~ Jackie Mason
  26. “Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions.” ~ A. A. Latimer
  27. “If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around.” ~ Christina Stead
  28. “Money may be the husk of many things but not the kernel. It brings you food, but not appetite; medicine, but not health; acquaintance, but not friends; servants, but not loyalty; days of joy, but not peace or happiness.” ~ Henrik Ibsen
  29. “Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won’t buy the wag of his tail.” ~ Henry Wheeler Shaw
  30. “They deem me mad because I will not sell my days for gold; and I deem them mad because they think my days have a price.” ~ Kahlil Gibran
  31. “Love lasteth as long as the money endureth.” ~ William Caxton
  32. “Our incomes are like our shoes; if too small, they gall and pinch us; but if too large, they cause us to stumble and to trip. “~ John Locke
  33. “He that is of the opinion money will do everything may well be suspected of doing everything for money.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
  34. “Technology now allows employers to cross the line from monitoring the work to monitoring the worker.” ~ Cindia Cameron
  35. “If you have to ask, you can’t afford it!” ~ J.Pierpont Morgan
  36. “I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” ~ Jules Renard
  37. “I’m not a paranoid deranged millionaire. Goddammit, I’m a billionaire.” ~ Howard Hughes
  38. “I believe in the Golden Rule — The Man with the Gold . . . Rules.” ~ Mr. T
  39. “The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” ~ IRS auditor
  40. “The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any.” ~ Katharine Whitehorn
  41. “The hardest thing in the world to understand is income tax.” ~ Albert Einstein
  42. “No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.” ~ Michael Pritchard
  43. “You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.” ~ Henny Youngman
  44. “Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?” ~ John Barrymore
  45. “When a person with money meets a person with experience, the person with the experience winds up with the money and the person with the money winds up with the experience.” ~ Harvey MacKay
  46. “You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.” ~ John Barrymore
  47. “It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” ~ Milton Berle
  48. “I have always said that if I were a rich man, I would employ a professional praiser.” ~ Osbert Sitwell
  49. “There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” ~ Spencer Tracy
  50. “The most popular labor-saving device is still money.” ~ Phyllis George
  51. “I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted.” ~ George Best
  52. “Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer.” ~ Will Rogers
  53. “Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?” ~ Steven Wright
  54. “Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for – in order to get to the job you need (to pay for the clothes and the car), and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.” ~ Ellen Goodman
  55. “I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.” ~ Bill Hoest
  56. “If it weren’t for baseball, many kids wouldn’t know what a millionaire looked like.” ~ Phyllis Diller
  57. “The quality of American life must keep pace with the quantity of American goods. This country cannot afford to be materially rich and spiritually poor.” ~ John F. Kennedy
  58. “You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.” ~ Khalil Gibran
  59. “Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.” ~ Anonymous
  60. “Death and taxes are inevitable; at least death doesn’t get worse every year.” ~ Anonymous
  61. “I place economy among the first and most important virtues, and public debt as the greatest of dangers. To preserve our independence, we must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt.” ~ Thomas Jefferson
  62. “A man can’t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.” ~ Navajo Proverb
  63. Baroque (adj.): When you are out of Monet.” ~ Anonymous
  64. “Did you hear about the blonde that sold her car for gas money?” ~ Anonymous
  65. “A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said ‘No change yet.’” ~ Anonymous
  66. “Nylons give women a run for their money.” ~ Anonymous
  67. “You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it. ” ~ Anonymous
  68. “A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.” ~ Anonymous
  69. “Two banks with different rates have a conflict of interest.” ~ Anonymous
  70. “Why do banks charge you a ‘non-sufficient funds fee’ on money they already know you don’t have?” ~ Stephen Wright
  71. “If money could talk, it would say goodbye.” ~ Anonymous
  72. “If we don’t control our money, it will control us.” ~ Anonymous
  73. “Money often costs too much.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
  74. “Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.” ~ Groucho Marx

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