Month: March 2014
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I worry about identity theft–and why no one wants to be me.
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When I look into your eyes, I see the back of your head.
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Can a hooker get layed off?
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It’s bad luck to be superstitious.
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If idiots could fly, this place would be an airport.
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Two sorts of writers possess genius: those who think, and those who cause others to think. ~ Aldous Huxley
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Of all escape mechanisms, death is the most efficient. ~ H.L. Mencken
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A man should aim to think as much as a woman feels. ~ H. L. Mencken
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Fool that I was, upon my eagle’s wings I bore this wren, till I was tired with soaring, and now he mounts above me. ~ John Dryden
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Lite: the new way to spell “Light,” now with 20% fewer letters!
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People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.
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We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour
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What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins “Once upon a time…” A southern fairytale begins “Y’all ain’t gonna believe this s***…”
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Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you. ~ Maori Proverb
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Not being beautiful was the true blessing. Not being beautiful forced me to develop my inner resources. The pretty girl has a handicap to overcome. ~ Golda Meir
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Your problem is never really your problem, your reaction to your problem is your problem. ~ Brian Kinsey
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The act of giving is more important than the merit of the receiver. ~ Glenn Kittler
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Thirteen quick “…therefore I am” variations
I think, therefore I am. ~ Descartes I think, therefore I am, I think. I doubt, therefore I might be. I forget, therefore I was. I drink therefore I am. ~ W. C. Fields I think, therefore I am single. Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum. (I think that I think, therefore I think that I…
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The object of the passion is just an accessory to the passion itself. ~ Zadie Smith
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7 quick quotes from Thomas Jefferson
When we get piled upon one another in large cities, as in Europe, we shall become as corrupt as Europe. ~ Thomas Jefferson It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes. A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world. ~ Thomas Jefferson I…
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Stupidity is not a crime. You’re free to go
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Watch out for the idiot behind me. ~ Bumper Sticker
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People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up. ~ Ogden Nash
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I remember when I got married. I remember where I got married. But for the life of me, I can’t remember why I got married. ~ Anonymous
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Far too many writers rely on the classic formula of a beginning, a muddle, and an end. ~ Philip Carlin