Month: December 2013
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Employees who must walk on eggshells move slowly.
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Behind the firewall, everyone’s naked.
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If it’s not brain science, it’s rocket surgery.
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When you consider that the sky starts at your feet, think how brave we are just to walk around. ~ Diane Ackerman
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So how many women out there think men are pigs? Gimme a show of tits!
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There’s more pressure on a vet to get it right. People say ‘It was God’s will’ when Granny dies, but they get angry when they lose a cow. ~ Terry Pratchett
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If I gave a shit, you’d be the first person I’d give it to.
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By the taping of my glasses, something geeky this way passes.
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She was like chocolate when she drank… semi sweet at first and then bitter as she drank more.
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Nine times out of ten, when people say myself or yourself they should say me or you.
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Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see. ~ Arthur Schopenhauer
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The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none. ~ Thomas Carlyle
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I am not merely a “consumer” or a “taxpayer”. I am a Citizen of the United States of America.
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My theory is that when people say they’re ROTFL they aren’t actually OTF, and probably not even R.
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Does power corrupt or does power attract the corruptible?
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Love is the only game that is not called on account of darkness. ~ M. Hirschfield
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Computers allow humans to make mistakes at the fastest speeds known, with the possible exception of tequila and handguns.
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My life so far has been a long series of things I wasn’t ready for. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
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Confirmed bachelor: A man who goes through life without a hitch.
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Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
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No brains, no headache.
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Whining is anger through a small opening. ~ Stuart Smalley
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Today, you have 100% of your life left. ~ Tom Landry
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When you blame others you give up your power to change. ~ Anonymous
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You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to.