Month: December 2013

  • Employees who must walk on eggshells move slowly.

  • Behind the firewall, everyone’s naked.

  • If it’s not brain science, it’s rocket surgery.

  • When you consider that the sky starts at your feet, think how brave we are just to walk around. ~ Diane Ackerman

  • So how many women out there think men are pigs? Gimme a show of tits!

  • There’s more pressure on a vet to get it right. People say ‘It was God’s will’ when Granny dies, but they get angry when they lose a cow. ~ Terry Pratchett

  • If I gave a shit, you’d be the first person I’d give it to.

  • By the taping of my glasses, something geeky this way passes.

  • She was like chocolate when she drank… semi sweet at first and then bitter as she drank more.

  • Nine times out of ten, when people say myself or yourself they should say me or you.

  • Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see. ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

  • The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none. ~ Thomas Carlyle

  • I am not merely a “consumer” or a “taxpayer”.  I am a Citizen of the United States of America.

  • My theory is that when people say they’re ROTFL they aren’t actually OTF, and probably not even R.

  • Does power corrupt or does power attract the corruptible?

  • Love is the only game that is not called on account of darkness. ~ M. Hirschfield

  • Computers allow humans to make mistakes at the fastest speeds known, with the possible exception of tequila and handguns.

  • My life so far has been a long series of things I wasn’t ready for. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

  • Confirmed bachelor: A man who goes through life without a hitch.

  • Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

  • No brains, no headache.

  • Whining is anger through a small opening. ~ Stuart Smalley

  • Today, you have 100% of your life left. ~ Tom Landry

  • When you blame others you give up your power to change. ~ Anonymous

  • You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to.